• Me 8 years ago: I want a carnage pizza with blood for sauce.
  • Me 7 years ago: Red meat is really bad for you. I'll just have chicken and fish instead.
  • Me 6 years ago: I wouldn't want my cat to die, so I shouldn't make a chicken go through that either. I'll just cut out meat, fur, and leather, and stick to milk, eggs, and veggies.
  • Me 5 years ago: I don't really like eggs anymore, and I buy soy milk sometimes, but I just loooooove cheese. Veganism is too extreme, so maybe I can just get local cheese from happy cows.
  • Me 4 years ago: Shit. I guess there is no such thing as happy cows. Fuck this. Goodbye cheese. Hello vegan lifestyle!
  • Me 3 years ago: I guess subsistence hunting is still okay.
  • Me 2 years ago: Nothing is okay.
  • Me 1 year ago: NOTHING IS OKAY.
  • Me now: Fuck your pointy teeth, fuck your "deer overpopulation", fuck your friend of a friend of a friend who went vegan for 6 hours and got sick and never went back, fuck your shitty understanding of evolution and biology, fuck your armchair nutritionist bullshit, fuck your burger recipe, fuck your cook out photos, fuck your fashion, fuck "plant intelligence," fuck your "personal choice," fuck your food chain, fuck your taste preference, fuck your tradition, FUCK ALL OF YOUR EXCUSES. GO VEGAN OR FUCK OFF.